i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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