What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
it was like eating out sand paper
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
