I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Come on in and take your pants off
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