It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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