The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
