we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
