i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
soo... how was my night?
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