just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
