That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Randomize
