look no pants
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
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