is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
