physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
