that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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