This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
