you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
