Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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