wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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