hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize