I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize