hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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