Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
