her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
