Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
