I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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