His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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