The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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