Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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