just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
