That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.