Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.