i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
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