Texts From Last Night

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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  The worlds most fuckable chipmunk

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  (862): The worlds most fuckable chipmunk http://tfl.nu/klow
  Replies (6) Good night (957) Bad night (622) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?

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  (203): I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon? http://tfl.nu/6yeo
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out

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  (740): I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out http://tfl.nu/uo3s
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  (914): View more from New York

  He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.

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  (914): He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew. http://tfl.nu/v7c1
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night

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  (215): I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night http://tfl.nu/glp8
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.

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  (804): also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite. http://tfl.nu/xds7
  Replies (14) Good night (3962) Bad night (1250) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.

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  (720): She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth. http://tfl.nu/5m3k
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours

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  (240): last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours http://tfl.nu/1nv0
  Replies (15) Good night (13037) Bad night (1013)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile

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  (410): I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile http://tfl.nu/t48c
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.

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  (434): my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life. http://tfl.nu/qxwb
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.

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  (402): You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement. http://tfl.nu/xw5k
  Replies (14) Good night (4317) Bad night (614) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said

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  (214): I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said http://tfl.nu/i92d
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?

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  (610): Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits? http://tfl.nu/td8v
  Replies (15) Good night (1921) Bad night (348) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  i will live by this rule

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  (616): life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee (1-616): i will live by this rule http://tfl.nu/j6ih
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left

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  (775): FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left http://tfl.nu/965v
  Replies (7) Good night (257) Bad night (956)

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