I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
