did you get engaged???
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!