trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.