So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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