Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize