I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Terrible idea I love it
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
