it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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