So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
