Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
