Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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