You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
