he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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