Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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