she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
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We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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