Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?