Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie