I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..