Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
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I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES