Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.