Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
