I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
