What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
