Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me