I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.