I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist