the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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