just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I checked into jail on foursquare
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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