Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
