I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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