Porn is love you can see.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
