69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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