What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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