Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
