We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
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