...so i touched it.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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