I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
